How do we build personal strength? The best way is by creating a big enough and an applicable enough supply of knowledge and by thinking. When we make our own decisions, five sixths of the part of the brain we’re using are activated (and we only use one ninth of our capacity).

Five sixths out of one ninth isn’t much, but at least something is going on. But, when we ask someone else to think for us or to give us advice, all those parts of the brain that were active during thinking are shut down. Some other, spare drives, are activated, but mostly the less important ones.

Decisions we make after having been advised by others, we generally do put in action, even when those recommendations are obviously wrong. It seems that once others think and talk for you – our brains stop working. We count on an alternative variant: ˝Well, it isn’t my fault. I was told to do so.˝ However, justifying that something isn’t our fault because, well, we were just listening to what someone was telling us, is in most cases a total waste of time. While we are justifying ourselves, some else is advancing. This happens at work and in your private life. Instead of achieving personal strength, we become dependent on the knowledge of others, on their ideas, business solutions and emotional decisions.

There are two types of personal strength. One is when your name (knowledge, social skills, personal credibility, ethics and morality) are worth to people no matter how much money you have. The other type of personal strength is when you are worth only as much as the balance on your account. Should you recklessly spend it, you’d be worth nothing. So, how to build personal strength that can carry you through life more or less undamaged?

I can demonstrate building of personal strength through a story about a chair and an armchair. So, when you have only one strength in your life, only one source of income or only one idea that you follow, then you’re sitting in a one-legged chair. One-legged chair is very unstable, it’s hard to maintain balance (there’s no quiet period) and fall is a common consequence of attempting to sit. While sitting in a chair like that, you’re an easy target to bad managers, and an even easier prey.

If you add one leg to your chair (for example, there’s another person earning money in the family, you’re an expert in two fields, or you have a stronger background), you’ll have it somewhat easier, but you must be careful not to fall asleep in a chair like this. Namely, caravans which were conquering the Wild West ensured peaceful sleep to the trail blazers by having the guards sit in two-legged chairs. It looks pretty stable, until you fall asleep. And then – boom! You find yourself on the floor, and you shut your eyes only for a minute.

So, if you want to relax and get a good sleep, your chair needs the third leg. This can be another source of income, more acquaintances who can help you, a higher education degree, some new knowledge etc. A three-legged chair is more stable, but it can’t grow, since the point of stability is dangerously moving toward a point of instability. Such a chair will hold you, but if you’re more ambitious than that, you’ll need the fourth leg too.

Now we’re talking about the shape of a chair we all know. That’s a classic, stable chair that holds you without any risk of falling, even if you fall asleep (unless you sit bad or sleep restlessly). So, if you’ve secured enough sources of income so you don’t depend only on one (as people would say, you didn’t put all eggs in the same basket), if you have enough knowledge which, in case you get fired, will make it easy for you to find another job or to open your own company, and if a circle of people who respect you and want to work with you is large, then you can sit in a four-legged chair stable and without fear. 

And now comes the armchair. It’s usually placed firmly on the ground, it’s safe, comfortable and soft. This is the state when you’ve managed to bring your life in the situation where you don’t depend on anyone financially. This is when you can say ˝no, I don’t want it, I won’t do it˝ to various bad partners, politicians, other undesired individuals and bad managers, and you won’t be hungry or thrown out on the street due to unpaid bills. The armchair is the ultimate state most people strive for.

sasa@sasapetar.com
www.statusprosper.com

Facebook: Saša Petar Education Club

Resource: Business Advisor / Poslovni savjetnik

January, 2012